A Bad Night
by iwishiwaskidding
Summary: All choices have consequences, and Courtney wants to take this one back. She doesn't want this, not anymore, but there's still a part of her that does. Everyone reacts to things in different ways. It's a bad night for everyone. Attempted suicide. One-sided attraction.


**A/N: Hi, welcome to my fic. I'm still working on the next chapter of A Different, Better Timeline and my as of now untitled Bridgney fic, but this is something that's been in the works for a while. Sometimes, when I'm stuck, I'll just write what's in my heart, and this has been. I've written this story twice in different ways. I thought I'd share.**

**A few context things because this takes place in an alternative universe. First, this takes place after World Tour and before All-Stars, and there is a year between each season. The original cast is nineteen. Second, let's just assume that everyone lives in Toronto. It's unlikely, but I'm calling it college. Third, Courtney and Duncan are together. There was no cheating in World Tour. They were broken up for a bit, and there was some Gwuncan (and Alecourtney), but there was no cheating. They're back together now. Fourth, Court, DJ, and Heather? Best friends. They live together. Fifth and finally, Chris really does love his campers and would do anything for them.**

**Also: This is heavy. You read the summary. I don't know how well I did it, but I tried.**

The fourth season of Total Drama has finally wrapped. The winner has been crowned, and the contestants are enjoying the end of the season party. Chris can't believe how well it turned out. He misses the original campers, of course, but the newbies actually did okay.

Ten minutes before it's time for Chris to give the final closing words, he gets a call. It's from Courtney, and he doesn't know why she would be calling him on some random Tuesday night. He answers anyway. "Sup, Court? What do you have for me?"

"I think I'm going to die tonight," she slurs, and Chris almost drops the phone, "I think I just killed myself. I don't want to die."

"Fuck, Courtney, where are you? What did you do?"

The line is silent for a few seconds, and Chris is scared she's lost consciousness. Thankfully, she speaks again, "my house. No one else is here. Heathie's at some bar with Iz and Evie, I think, and Deej is at boys night. And I just took some pills. A lot of them. And also drank an entire bottle of wine. My head hurts."

"Okay, just hang in there. I'm going to call 911. You're going to be okay." Chris looks around for Chef. He really needs some help with this. "Just keep talking to me. I know you can talk for a long time."

"I can talk for a long time, but I'm sleepy, and everything's all blurry. I think I'm dying. I think tomorrow I'm not going to be here anymore. I want to be here tomorrow. Everyone's going to be so sad."

Chris sighs, "I know. That's why you have to keep holding on." Where was Chef? Or any other producer for that matter? There should be people around, dammit!

"Bridie will be sad. Heathie will be sad. Deej will be sad. Lindsay will be sad. I think Dunkie's going to be the most sad. He loves me, and I return the favor by killing myself. Oops. My parents aren't going to be that sad. They'll just be like 'ah, Courtney, ella fue muy débil. Nuestra hija fue la peor. No estamos tristes. Estamos decepcionados.' They probably won't care."

As Courtney continues voicing her stream of consciousness, Chris finally finds Chef. He waves him over. "You're up soon. Who are you on the phone with?" Chef asks.

Chris presses the mouthpiece into his neck, "find out where the three live, Court and Heather and DJ. Call 911. Courtney tried to kill herself tonight. I'm on the phone with her right now, she's still awake, but I don't know for how long. She mixed pills and alcohol."

Chef nods, his question forgotten. This is so much more important than the party. Then he pulls out his phone and calls the Toronto office to find out the address. Once that's secured, he calls 911. Chris is still on the phone with Courtney.

"Oh, my head feels fuzzier than it did before." She's also slurring worse than she was before, Chris notices. "I think I have to stop talking now. I don't want…" Then, she stops talking. Shit.

Chris hangs up the phone and calls Duncan. He doesn't answer. He tries again. He still doesn't answer. Shit, okay, he'll leave a message. "Hey, Duncster, it's me, Chris. Call back when you get the chance. It's important." Then, he tries Heather. She doesn't answer either. Neither does DJ or Bridgette or Lindsay or Duncan for a third time. Does no one answer their phone on a Tuesday night? He leaves each of them a message, hoping someone will call him back soon.

Then, he calls the Toronto office. Chris needs to send someone to the hospital. He doesn't want Courtney to be alone. He also needs to let the producers know that him and Chef are taking off. It's just over a two-hour drive to Toronto, and he needs to be there for his favorite contestant. (He'd do this for any of those kids, but Court's really something special.)

Once everything is squared away, Chris and Chef leave the playa. Chef drives, and Chris continues trying different people. Lynette Spearman promises him she would sit with Courtney in the hospital until someone else showed up.

Then, halfway through the drive, his phone rings. It's Bridgette!

"Bridgette hey, hope your night is going well," Chris greets. He knows he sounds overly cheesy, but it's easier than anything else. He's about to ruin her night, how is he supposed to sound?

"It's going fine. I'm just calling you back. You said it was important?"

"Yes, important," Chris confirms. He hates that he has to break this news. Bridgette is Courtney's best friend, and this is going to break her. "I'm sorry to say, but your nights about to get a little, well, a lot, shitty. About an hour and a half ago I got a call from Courtney. She tried to kill herself. She's alive, still. She's at Toronto Gen. Lynette, I don't know if you've met her, is there, but that's it. You're the first one who has returned any of my calls."

Bridgette is quiet for a minute, "okay. Thanks for letting me know. Who did you call?"

"Heather, Lindsay, DJ, Duncan, you. I've left everyone a message. Duncan's gotten several."

"Okay. He's with Geoff, I'll call him. Just, thank you. I'll be there soon."

"Great. Chef and I are on our way, too. Should be there in about an hour. I'll see you. Bye."

Bridgette hangs up without saying bye. Shit. She can't believe this is happening. She can't believe her best friend, the girl she loves, almost died tonight. She hops in the car and drives straight to Toronto Gen. On her way, she calls Geoff. Her dumb boyfriend doesn't answer his dumb phone. She leaves a message. She tries Duncan again and DJ again just to make sure, but they don't answer either. Dammit.

It takes her two minutes to find out where her best friend is. Room 308. A producer, Lynette Spearman, is sitting in the chair next to her bed. Bridgette's only met Lynette a handful of times, but she knows she and Courtney are close. She's the mother she never had, and Bridgette wonders if anyone's called her actual mother. She wordlessly pulls the other chair next to Lynette's without greeting her. Courtney's sleeping, and she looks so small laying there.

Bridgette wants to cry, wants to express the emotions she doesn't quite feel, but the tears aren't there. She feels numb, and it's awful because she wants to be a sobbing wreck. She wants to cry and feel and be heartbroken, but she isn't. When Chris broke the news, a flip in her switched. He was right, her night did get a lot shittier, and now she can't process her emotions.

Maybe it's because the girl she's in love with almost died – tried to kill herself – and there's nothing she can do about it. She can't even talk about how much she loves her because she has Geoff and Courtney has Duncan, and she's not supposed to be in love with her best friend, dammit. And her best friend isn't supposed to want to die. Everything about this is so wrong.

Thirty minutes later, Chris and Chef show up. Lynette greets them, but Bridgette stays seated. Courtney's still asleep, and someone has to hold her hand. Maybe she can't feel, but she can do this. While Lynette and Chris whisper about the situation and how no one else has answered their phones, Chef takes Lynette's seat.

"How are you?" he asks.

Bridgette shrugs, "I don't think it matters how I am. I wasn't the one who tried to kill myself tonight."

"Of course, it matters," Chef sighs, "she's your best friend. You love her. How are you?"

Bridgette shrugs again, "I don't know. I feel numb, I guess. I don't think I'm supposed to feel numb. I think I'm supposed to cry, and I want to, but I physically can't. I'm a terrible best friend."

Chef places a comforting hand on Bridgette's shoulder, "no, you're not. We all process these negative emotions in different ways. It's okay if you can't cry. You're here."

"You don't get it. It's not okay. Court's my best friend, and I'm in… I love her," she shrugs Chef's hand away, "It's just me here, no one else. I want to cry, I want her to know I feel something, but I don't! I don't feel anything. When she wakes up, she's going to want to die again because she'll think the only person here doesn't care, but I do. I promise. I just can't cry, even though I really want to. She's going to hate me, I know it."

"Bridgette, it's okay to fe–" Chef starts, but Bridgette shakes her head, "no, fuck. Don't talk to me about this. You don't… you don't understand. I don't need your wise words of whatever. Fuck off."

There it is. She finally feels something, finally managed an emotion, and it's anger. What she's angry about, she doesn't know, but it's there. It's festering inside her, and it's going to bubble over if she doesn't get out of there now. Dropping Courtney's hand, she hastily stands and walks out. She finds the cafeteria, buys some coffee, and sits for a while. She needs to collect herself.

Across town, DJ's finally home. He was at Geoff and Duncan's all night, but guys night is over. The whole evening, he had the feeling something was off, but tried to push it down. It was probably nothing. He left his phone at home, and, when he finally checks it, he finds that he has missed calls from Bridgette, Chris, and an unknown number. Chris and the unknown number left voicemails. Bridgette didn't. Putting his phone to his ear, he presses play.

"_Hey, Deej, it's Chris, ha ha, call me back when you get this. It's really important_."

"_Hello, Mr. Powell, this is Dr. Soto from Toronto Gen. You're listed as one of Courtney Correa's emergency contacts. Please return this call at your earliest convenience for more information."_

What? He left Courtney here alone earlier tonight. This can't be real. If there was an emergency how could Chris know before him? He checks Courtney's room, and she's gone. That's not right. Maybe she just went somewhere, but, when he checks the garage, her car is still there. What's happening? He calls the hospital. It rings once, twice, then, someone answers.

"Toronto Gen, how may I direct your call?"

DJ lets out a shaky breath, "Hi, I'm Devon Powell. I got a call from Dr. Soto concerning my friend Courtney Correa?"

The receptionist sighed somewhat sadly over the phone when he mentioned Dr. Soto, and DJ wonders how terrible his night is about to get, "just one minute. She'll be right with you."

DJ hums his acknowledgment and waits in silence until a new voice speaks over, "hello, is this Mr. Powell?"

DJ wants to scream. Of course, it's him! He's the one who called. "Yes, this is him. Is, uh, is Courtney okay?"

"She's alive, yes. If you would like to discuss this further, please come to Toronto Gen. Her room number is 308."

DJ curses. That gives him almost no information, but at least he knows she alive. "Okay. Thank you. I'll be there soon."

Then, he leaves his house again. He doesn't think about anything as he drives the short distance to the hospital.

Meanwhile, Duncan finally gets around to checking his phone. It's late, and DJ just left. They keep their phones away during these boys' nights. Bridgette and Courtney and whoever else know not to bother them during it. Usually, he'll have a text or two from Court, but not this time. No, this time he has nine missed calls, all from different numbers, but none of them hers. There are five voicemails. Three of them are from Chris, one is from Bridgette, and one is from an unknown numbers. That can't be good. He listens to them in order.

"_Hey, Duncster, it's me, Chris. Call back when you get the chance. It's important."_

"_Hey, Dunc, it's Chris again. Please call me back. Please. It's important_."

"_Hi, Duncan, it's Bridgette. I talked to Chris. You're going to want to call him back. Fuck. You're going to want to call anyone back. Please." _

"_Hello, Mr. Marino, this is Dr. Soto from Toronto Gen. You're listed as one of Courtney Correa's emergency contacts. Please return this call at your earliest convenience for more information."_

"_Chris again. Call me back. I'm here. It's just me, Chef, and Lynette. Bridgette is here somewhere too still I think, but she's having a bit of a meltdown. Please. Call me back. Please._"

Fuck. What's going on? The sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach tells him he already knows, but it can't be that. It can't. Obviously, something happened with Court, but it can't be what he thinks it is. It can't. So maybe she's been a little disinterested in life recently, but she didn't do what he thinks maybe she did. She wouldn't. But, what else could it be? He has to see her.

Duncan grabs his keys and heads for the front door. Halfway there, Geoff exits his room, "hey, Duncan, Bridge called and told me to tell you to call Chris. Don't know what it's about."

"Yeah, fuck. I've gotten a few calls. It's, uh… I don't know what it is, but I have to go. Something's going on with Court. Fuck."

He doesn't bother with calling anyone back. He just drives the 25 minutes to Toronto Gen. He needs to talk himself down. It's probably nothing. He'd be able to feel it if she were dead, right?

When he gets there, he wanders around aimlessly until a nurse finds him somewhere he knows he isn't allowed to be. She asks him what he's doing there. He tells her he thinks his girlfriend is here somewhere, that Dr. Soto called him. He couldn't bring himself to call them back. It would make it real. The nurse almost looks heartbroken when he mentions Dr. Soto. That's not a good sign. She tells him she'll page her for him.

Dr. Soto finds him three minutes later, "hello, the nurse said you think your girlfriend's here? Can I ask you what her name is?"

Duncan nods, "Court… Courtney. Uh, Courtney Correa, I guess."

"Okay, and are you Mr. Duncan Marino?"

Duncan nods again, "yes. Is she, uh, is she okay?"

"She's alive. Come with me. We'll chat on our way to her room, okay?"

Duncan nods a third time, "okay." Then, he follows her to wherever his girlfriend is.

A bit earlier, Courtney finally wakes up. She doesn't know where she is, but her body is sore all over, and her throat burns. After her eyes adjust to the light, she finds she's in a hospital bed, and Chris, Chef, and Lynette Spearman are there. She remembers her night, sucking in a breath. She tried to kill herself.

Her guests don't give her a moment to herself before they're fawning over her. Lynette presses the call button. Chris is holding one of her hands and Chef the other. They're all speaking over each other, and at least two of them are crying, but she can't listen. Instead, she's wondering where her friends are. There's so much going on, and the only person she wants isn't here. She wants to ask, but that's when the doctor comes in, shutting everyone up.

The doctor is a Latina woman, about 35 years old, with hardened eyes, "Hi, Courtney, I'm Dr. Soto, can you tell me why you're here?"

Courtney nods, "I tried to kill myself."

Dr. Soto smiles, but it's not happy, "can you tell me why?"

Courtney starts to nod again but stops halfway through, shaking her head instead. "I don't know."

"That's perfectly okay, Courtney. Now, we'll have to chat later, but I'll let you rest now. Is that okay?"

"It doesn't matter if it's okay," Courtney mumbles, "you're going to make me anyway. I've done this before."

Dr. Soto keeps smiling her unhappy smile, "well, we'll wait until morning. I'll be back later."

Dr. Soto leaves, and no one says anything, opting to just look at each other. Courtney thinks all the noise might have been preferable. Finally, after three full minutes, (she counted) she breaks the silence.

"Is Dun– are you the only ones here?"

Chris sighs, shakes his head. He's not surprised Duncan's the one she wants, and his heart hurts for her that he isn't here yet. "No. He's… I called him, but he didn't answer. No one's returned any of my calls yet except for Bridgette. She's here somewhere, but she needed a moment."

Courtney closes her eyes. He doesn't know yet or else he'd be here. Fuck. He's going to be so sad. "Okay. Can I also have a moment, please?"

"Someone has to be here with you," Lynette says, "they're scared you're going to try to hurt yourself. But we can just be quiet. We don't have to talk about anything."

"Okay," Courtney sighs. She doesn't know what she expected, it was like that the last time, too. "And I'd like that. Not talking."

They fall back into silence for the next seven or so more minutes. Then, Dr. Soto knocks on the door. Why is she already back? She opens it before anyone tells her she can come in, something Courtney doesn't like even if she understands it. DJ's with her. It's not Duncan, but it's nice to have a friend. The adults all stand to greet him before slipping out. They don't want to overwhelm her.

DJ takes the chair Chris was sitting in, "hi."

Courtney looks over at him, and he's crying. Great. More tears. "Hi. Please, don't cry. I'm okay."

"Okay. You're okay," DJ agrees, "can I hold your hand?"

Courtney shrugs, "if you want to."

DJ takes Courtney's hand and holds it tightly. They don't talk. She still doesn't want to. She doesn't want to do anything except sleep, preferably for three days straight.

Meanwhile, Dr. Soto is walking Duncan to Courtney's room. She's talking about something, but he stopped paying attention after she told him that his girlfriend tried to kill herself. It's not a complete shock, the thought already at the back of his mind, but hearing it makes it worse. Before now it was a what if, but now it's real. His girlfriend, the love of his life, tried to kill herself tonight, and he didn't know until now.

He wants to hit something and right now it's himself. He's so pissed at himself. She's been fading, and he didn't do anything about it. Dammit. It's… it doesn't feel fair, and he's pissed. And, as horrible as it is, he's pissed at her, too. She's… he loves her. She can't want to die. They're supposed to spend the rest of their lives together. How could she try to throw that away tonight? He's selfish, so selfish, but she can't do this this them.

They walk past the waiting room, and he sees Chris, Chef, and that producer lady Courtney's really close with. He doesn't acknowledge them, hating them for getting here first. Hating himself for them getting here first. Dr. Soto knocks on the door before letting herself in. Then, he sees her.

Courtney's sitting in the hospital bed. She looks so tiny and weak, and she's not supposed to be either of those things, dammit. It's heartbreaking, and he can't be mad at her anymore. Not when she's… he doesn't know. He's caught in the doorway, not able to go to her. He doesn't like this Courtney imposter, but he wants – needs – to touch her. Make sure she's still here. Make sure she's real.

He vaguely registers DJ there, but he can't bring himself to tear her eyes away from her, scared she'll disappear. She's looking back at him with empty eyes, and her arms are reaching out, and, all of a sudden, he's crying. This can't be his girlfriend. Then, before he knows it, he's sitting down next to her and wrapping his arms around her. They're alone now, and he rubs her back up and down.

"Court… I… fuck," Duncan whispers, "I love you so much. I love you. Please, never… I love you."

Courtney hasn't cried all night but seeing him utterly torn up is enough to make it happen. He never cries, and he is because of this. She made him cry. It feels all wrong and, for the first time, real. The tears come hard and fast, and she can't respond. She just buries her head in his shoulder, and he lets her.

Twenty minutes later, she finally cries herself out. While his tears are quiet, hers are loud and all-consuming, and she doesn't have it in her anymore. She's so tired, and crying takes so much effort. Feeling anything at all except for numb takes so much effort. She can't do it. He's still crying, though, and she doesn't want him to.

"Please stop crying. I don't like it," Courtney mumbles into his shoulder.

"What?" Duncan nudges her away slightly and looks down at her. He's wearing incredulous expression, and his face is wet. It hurts to see him like this. "Stop crying? Baby… how can… no."

Courtney closes her eyes and brings her cheek back to his shoulder, "please. Duncan, I'm…" Fuck. She can't tell him she's okay. It worked with DJ, but he'll be so mad if she says it to him. She's so clearly not okay, and he'll be pissed if she tries to pretend. Does she even want to with him? No, but she doesn't know what else to say.

"You're what?"

"I'm tired," is what she decides on. It's the truth, and it'll hopefully get her out of having to explain things to him, not that there's an explanation anyway. "Can we not talk? I just want you to hold me. I want to be with you."

Duncan nods and repositions them so that they're lying down. It's terrible, but he's grateful she doesn't want to talk. He doesn't want to hear about it yet, and he thinks she wouldn't even know what to say. "I don't ever want to let go of you. Fuck, baby… I'm here. I love you."

Snuggling as deep into his chest as she can, Courtney nods, "yeah." She can't say it back right now; she wouldn't mean it. (And it's awful because she does love him. So much. It's just more feelings than she can handle.)

In the cafeteria, Bridgette has finally calmed down some. She's still angry, but it's mixed with sadness now. In the hour that she was there, she got a call from Geoff, a call from DJ, and a call from Chris. She ignored all of them, though she probably shouldn't have. She didn't have it in her to talk to anyone yet.

It's time to go back to Courtney's room now, it has to be. There's a chance that no one else has shown up yet, and it's just Chris, Chef, and Lynette there. She's probably awake without any friends. What a terrible though. On the walk back, she doesn't pay attention to anything until she gets to the waiting room. The adults are all there, but so is DJ. Someone has to be with her, of course, but Bridgette thinks it just has to be the doctor. Who else could it be?

Bridgette takes a seat next to DJ, "is she all alone?"

DJ shakes his head, "Duncan's with her." Duncan. Of course. How could she have forgotten about the only person who loves Courtney more than her? "I thought they might want to be alone for a bit, but that was thirty minutes ago if you want to see her."

"Yes, I'd really like that," Bridgette says, thankful he didn't mention her meltdown. There's no way he doesn't know. "Did you talk to her? Is she awake?"

DJ nods, "yeah, but we didn't talk much. She didn't want to. She just told me to stop crying and that she was okay. Bridgette, I'm scared. She's really not okay, but I didn't say anything. It was almost like she was numb."

Numb. It was almost like she was numb. Fuck. "Will you come with me? Please?"

"Of course I'll come with you," DJ stands, offering her a hand. She takes it, and he pulls her up. They don't let go of each other as they walk to her room. When they get there, Bridgette knocks on the door, and they wait, not wanting to barge in. It takes two minutes for Duncan to open the door, and he just wordlessly steps aside to let them in before taking a seat in one of the chairs next to the bed.

Taking Duncan's spot on Courtney's bed, Bridgette pulls her best friend into a hug, "Court… Courtney… I, uh, I love you so much. I'm so happy you're alive. I love you. You're my best friend. Oh, Courtney, I… I love you."

Courtney closes her eyes, uncomfortable with all of Bridgette's words. There are so many of them, and they're all about her. "Don't talk so much, Brid. I'm okay."

"Baby…" Duncan sighs before Bridgette has a chance to say anything herself, "don't… fuck. You're not okay, okay? Don't… you aren't. Shit, Court… no. Fuck that."

Courtney opens her eyes and looks over Bridgette to her boyfriend. He isn't as mad as she thought he'd be, but there's still anger in his eyes. She gets it; she's not okay, but she doesn't want her friends fawning over her. It would be too much, and both Bridgette and DJ would be the type to fawn. It's almost easier this way.

Looking back at Bridgette, she thinks about what she can say. She won't say she's okay again, not with Duncan here, but she has to say something. "Okay… but you really don't need to talk so much. I get it."

"I'll stop talking," Bridgette promises, her eyes welling up with tears. When she saw her before, all she could feel was numb, but now that's she's awake and talking? Bridgette's heartbroken, finally. There is no more anger, only deep sadness. Courtney doesn't want all the attention, she gets that, but she can't not cry. This is her best friend, the love of her life.

Courtney shakes her head, "don't cry. Please. Everyone is crying, and I'd really like it if you didn't."

"I won't," Bridgette promises, tears still falling from her eyes, "I'll stop. I won't cry. Let's just rest some. I know you don't want to talk."

Courtney mouth twitches upwards, but it's not a smile, "I'd really appreciate that. Thank you, Brid."

"No problem. I love you, Court," Bridgette kisses her on the forehead before letting her go. Courtney slides back down so that she's lying again, and Bridgette joins her mostly because she doesn't know what else to do.

It's mostly quiet for the next hour, only having stilted conversation when they need to. DJ steps out once to try Heather again. She's been unreachable all night, and he doesn't like that. He knows it's late, but she needs to know this is happening. She's going to come home in the morning, and no one's going to be there.

Around two A.M., Courtney decides she can't stay awake any longer even if she wanted to. She could sleep with her friends still there, but she doesn't want that. She wants to be as alone as she's allowed to be right now. Yawning loudly and exaggeratedly, she says, "I'm really tired," before looking pointedly at DJ and Bridgette.

They get the hint and wish her and Duncan a good night before leaving. Once alone, Duncan climbs back into the bed, "do you want to talk or do you want to sleep?"

"I'm really tired," Courtney repeats, "I'd like some sleep if that's okay."

"I'm tired, too," Duncan lays them down, "baby, I… I love you, okay? I want you to know that. Please tell me you know that."

"I know," Courtney slurs as she curls up next to him, her body against his chest. His arm comes around her, and it almost feels okay. She's asleep quickly, her body and mind exhausted from everything that's happened today.

Once again, Duncan is caught. Sleep sounds so nice right now, but he doesn't want to miss a moment. He loves her, so much, and his heart is broken. And he's scared… terrified. His girlfriend tried to kill herself tonight, and now she's… it's unexplainable. How can he sleep with all this? Ultimately, though, it's not up to him. Ten minutes after she's asleep, his body shuts down. It needs the rest.

**A/N: Thank you for reading. If you liked it I would appreciate a comment. If you want to keep up with me and my writing, you can follow me at .com. Once again, the next chapter of A Different, Better Timeline is coming. I've been having some trouble with it, but I think I've finally found my stride.**

**I don't know if there will be more chapters of this. I assume there will be, but I make no promises. If there are, each chapter will be able to "complete," so to speak.**

**Once again, if you liked it, please leave a comment.**


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